can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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