that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
