Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
