You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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