waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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