haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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