dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
