when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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