So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
