I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
