Your face is a jimmy john
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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