I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
