No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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