If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
