I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
