Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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