Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
