I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
