when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize