By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
