when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize