Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
