Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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