she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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