Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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