But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
