I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
