The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
