Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
