It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
