i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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