I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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