So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
