Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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