evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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