I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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