the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
