she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize