No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize