and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
