im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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