There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
