It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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