My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
