She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
