I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
