3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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