i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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