she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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