ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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