1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize