your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
