I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
