Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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