maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
