I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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