btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
